Fox News Food Products

In my recent post on the poisonous nature of pepper spray, I noted that the name makes it sound more innocuous than it really is. We’re talking, after all, about a chemical agent potent enough that our soldiers are banned by international treaty from using it in other countries:

But we’ve taken to calling it pepper spray, I think, because that makes it sound so much more benign than it really is, like something just a grade or so above what we might mix up in a home kitchen. The description hints maybe at that eye-stinging effect that the cook occasionally experiences when making something like a jalapeno-based salsa, a little burn, nothing too serious.

As it turns out, this is exactly the message that Fox News is promoting to its views. And not subtly either. As Gawker reported, last night News co-hosts Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly mulled over the pepper-spraying of peacefully protesting students at UC-Davis this weekend. Why all the outrage, Kelly wondered. After all “pepper spray is a food product, essentially.”

On Twitter, this has launched some fairly hilarious suggestions from my fellow science writers for potential Fox News Food Products:

@carlzimmer: More Fox food products: ricin nerve gas from [castor] beans, cyanide from apple seeds. Happy Thankgiving!

@sethmnookin: Don’t forget bitter almonds.

Tongue-in-cheek queries about whether Fox was proffering useful household tips:

@hollychrome: So I should start cooking with pepper spray?

And a collection of #MegynKellyEssentially comments such as:

@droogie6655321: Guns are essentially long-distance paper hole punchers #MegynKellyEssentially

@drdryskull: Mustard gas is essentially a condiment #MeganKellyEssentially

But just in case anyone – among, say, the dedicated Fox News viewers, actually believes that we’re talking kitchen science here, let me repeat another point made in my earlier post. There is nothing, repeat nothing, domestic about the nature of pepper spray. On the Scoville scale, used to measure pepper burn intensity, police issue spray stands at 5.3 million units. For comparison, the blisteringly hot jabenero pepper is a mere 350,000 units. And to generate this kind of chemical intensity, you actually need a industrial laboratory process, essentially.

But if Fox is actually looking for some more “food products, essentially” for comparison, then, yes,  apple seeds and bitter almonds make a reasonable comparison. Oh and peach and apricot pits, which also contain cyanide.

All of which, by the sound of it, may be found in Megyn Kelly’s kitchen.

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14 Responses to Fox News Food Products

  1. The Corrupt Origins and Hidden Dangers of Pepper Spray (OC) Use by Law Enforcement

  2. DMajor says:

    Most output from Fox News is an agricultural livestock by-product, essentially.

  3. WhirlwindRemnant says:

    Banned by international treaty but can use on us-WTF,USA?! We can only by it for rape defense from police station. And MegynKelly makes me seem like a good cook even with Gummi Fruit Salad & “Hard Mac” is for holidays.

  4. Pingback: It's a crowd control tool AND a dessert topping! (Part 3) | ***Dave Does the Blog

  5. Christian says:

    Jennifer Fox from Occupy Seattle just miscarried a baby after getting assaulted and pepper sprayed by cops. Megyn Keel, this disgusting pinup-girl for american hate preachers, will probably go and say: “The cops gave her free midwife-services, essentially.”

    When will Fox “News” finally officially be recognized as a propaganda-outlet, and as a threat to human society in general?

  6. Mary says:

    Favorite comment about Fox I saw:

    @bstiteler: If pepper spray really was a food product, Fox News would oppose police distributing it to the poor.

    Retweet it here:!/bstiteler/status/139047031338582016

  7. Fox “News”(aka Faux News, Fox Noise) is just too silly. You know they actually had a segment where they claimed that global warming couldn’t happen because of Le Chatelier’s Principle and the First Law of Thermodynamics? See here:

    Which is basically their way of saying they don’t understand basic chemistry and physics. And which in turn explains why I have a tough time taking them seriously.

  8. Christian says:

    DO take them serious – as a propaganda outlet.

  9. Christian says:

    Thank you for posting this. This is the funniest thing I have seen in months. OK, we have fascist cops on the streets. But at least we have some Amazon customers at their computers, who have some BRILLIANT sense of humor! Absolutely amazing!

  10. Pingback: So Should I Start Cooking with Pepper Spray? | Follow Me Here…

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